Disappointment

So the weekend didn't turn out so great...it started fantastic when we got a 29.6 on our dressage test...he got an 8 on one of his counter canters!! I felt really good about it after we finished, so I'm glad the score reflected how I thought it went. Then in stadium we pulled 2 rails...it was a smooth round, but he was backed off and didn't seem to want to jump at all. I was pushing him to everything, but didn't feel like I was begging him. So we got through that and then it was off to XC. I was really excited about the course...there were tons of questions, but I really liked the bank and water complexes. The water had a jump going in and a jump through it which was going to be new for us. The banks was an a,b,c combination in a straight line, which is much better for us. I was most nervous for the corner to a HUGE table on a left bending line. Well turns out I didn't get to ride any of those combos because I fell off at 4b. After we jumped #2 and were galloping down to #3, he just started to stall out. He didn't want to go at all..we crawled over #3 a big brush and then he put on the brakes about 5 strides out from 4a. I got him over 4a and then he launched over a little stream and slammed on the brakes late at 4b...I ended up on his neck, he spun around, I almost stayed on, but then just gave up and rolled off right into the mud puddle (must've been somewhat comical to watch). Danny saw it coming and said he was never going and that it wasn't my riding. I'd almost prefer that it was my riding so that I know for sure I can fix it. We are having Dr. Anderson look at him today to see if it's his hocks again. It sort of had the same feeling to me, but I don't know. It's just unlike him to be so backed off on XC...especially considering he was awesome 3 weeks ago at Fair Hill. So we'll see...just praying it's not mental for him and that we can run a starter course this weekend just to get some confidence back and salvage the season. It's been a tough few days for me...of course I'm running through all the most negative scenarios and just being really sad about everything. It's really hard b/c he's so competitive in dressage and I have no interest in just going training with him. He can obviously compete in Prelim considering we were in 1st this weekend. Hopefully we will know more today after the vet...tough break yet again.