Week of Reflection

Well after a week of ups and downs emotionally (mostly downs), I believe I have figured out a plan for the future of Legacy and I. Many thoughts have run through my head on how to handle this situation...from giving up to completely ignoring it...and I think I've done both throughout the last 2 months. Moving forward I am going to try and enjoy all of the good things about Legacy and about my life. I need to see the positives without being oblivious to the negative...I believe the word is realistic. Eventing is a difficult sport and many pros think there is no place for amateurs at the top. I say that is an opinion and I'm not going to even entertain other's opinions....they are insignificant in my quest. This has been a rough patch, but it's not the end. I am still learning with Legacy and even if Prelim isn't in our near competition future, I am not going to be wasting my time. The thing is, Prelim is in our future for training so I am still learning to ride at that level, maybe just not compete right now. Back to the plan, I'm going to try and enjoy being around Legacy and not pick fights all the time...he still is a pretty amazing horse and I can't forget what he's taught us or what success he brought me last season. We need to get along and rebuild our relationship. I am going to try and make his workouts more fun and have more variety in case some of these issues were due to being burned out. I have some ideas, but I'm mainly trying to just stick with my gut right now and do what I think is right. My family has been super supportive, but only I know what I need to do to get through this, so it rests on my shoulders and I've accepted it now and I'm ready to move on, whether it be forward or backward.

Legacy the Brat

Well the problem has certainly been identified after this weekend's show at Loch Moy Farm....Legacy is a huge brat!! I'm not sure what caused his mental breakdown over the past month and a half, but something has definitely got him buggered. Here's the story...we ran Training this weekend and I was just worried that he would shut down regardless of the size of the fences. We started out with a 33.2 in dressage...not our best, but solid...we were in 4th. Then we had a 4 hour break in the sweltering heat until we jumped. In stadium warmup he didn't want to go forward, but after a few swift kicks he was fine and we were going. He was fine in the ring and the round was smooth...we pulled the last rail, which was a planked vertical, but I think it was my fault for not making enough of an adjustment after I got a long spot to the oxer that was 5 strides out from the vertical...ok fine. So then we go to XC warmup. Well all the jumps were facing the trailers and such, so he's fine to the jumps, but when I turn to gallop away, he pins his ears and doesn't want to move forward. So the first jump is on a bend away from the trailers and then the next 3 jumps are directly away from everything...so my gut tells me I'm going to have a problem. By the way, it was different walking the Training course, all the jumps looked tiny, which helped me as you'll see once I finish my story. So we get over the 1st jump and heading to the 2nd, he's really sticky, swapping leads and not going forward. I get him over that one and really try and kick him forward where he proceeds to have a bit of a fit and starts hopping and is barely going forward...we are in the middle of the field. After his 1st temper tantrum I get him over #3 which was a house into the woods. Then he was great over the next few...I was worried about #5 and 6 which was a rolltop with an awful approach to a downbank. Well I never got straight and I rode it terrible, but he was a champ and did it himself. If there was a place I thought he would be a jerk it would've been there. Then through the first water he's great. Then I had to make a right turn, again away from the trailers and other horses, and now he really has a tantrum. The next fence was a big brush with a ditch...about 4 strides out he stops swings his butt around and is just being an idiot. So this time I DID NOT go for my whip, but instead just squeezed. He trotted forward and took the brush basically with very little moment (the loser certainly is talented...ugh, frustrating). Well then we had a little talk on our gallop to the next fence (that did include the whip). He was great the rest of the course...it was too easy. Once I got him going I decided I wasn't really going to slow him down, so we came in 30 seconds under the Optimum time...with the heat and everything I feel confident he's in good shape. He still had a lot left at the end of the course. I wasn't sure if the jump judges were going to give me a stop and 20 penalties for our little fight, even though it had nothing to do with the jump, but they didn't and we ended up in 3rd.

So now I know what the problem is. I still don't know if he was hurting at Rubicon and it contributed to the stops, but that course was going directly away from everything as well and was close to the trailering area. So now we are thinking that we need to get him to places where XC is farther away...i.e. Morven and Fairhill were all far away from earlier in the season. I'm also thinking that maybe he'd be better over a few days to try and mitigate his laziness and make him be able to mentally get through all phases over a few days instead of crammed into one day. It's tough because the costs go up considerably for multiple days because of stabling. So I accomplished what I needed to this weekend...we didn't get eliminated and I got him around XC. We also identified the problem and hopefully we can find a way to fix it. It's difficult because this isn't a training issue that I could work on, so we just have to drag him to shows and see if we can work this out of him.

Positive Reinforcement

We took the boys to Bucks County Horse Park this morning for some XC fun. We met Matt, Tracy and Jen there...unfortunately 3 out of 5 of the pairs were lame in some fashion...2 horses and 1 person thanks to Seth's circular saw incident. So Tracy and I got to run around and get all sweaty. After Jen's horse Gully decided to stop flipping out because he could only walk, we got down to business. Legacy was a maniac...in a good way. I barely had to use any leg and was having more trouble stopping him than anything. It was good to feel that again....I felt like I could've pointed him at anything and he would've been fine. There's not too much scary stuff there, so we just hopped around some tables and such and everything was really easy for him. Tracy had a breakthrough when she got Skyy over the Trakehner...her last horse had a ditch problem, but Skyy couldn't care less...no hesitation at all. He was certainly proud of himself as he should be!! There really was only one combo for us to work on...a double up bank left bend to a table. It was so smooth...I felt like I had so much time after the banks to get to the table which is a good feeling....I think it's 3 or 4 strides, and we've been working on bending lines. We had a jump workout at home last night with bending lines. Satan's S-curve exercise was set up and then I set up our skinny chevron bending line to a corner using a barrel and 2 standards. I had the jumps pretty low 2'9" or so, so he was having no trouble with anything and I'd say rushing more than anything. So I guess we're back on the seesaw...going from rushing to stopping. I just never know what horse I'm going to have on any given day. This was a good step for us and a straightforward, positive schooling which will hopefully carry through to next weekend.

Back to Work

Well after a week off getting ready for the Kelset Farm BBQ, we were back to work. We had a mini workout on Saturday since Seth's buddy from college came down and took some photos of us riding. I cannot wait to see them...he's awesome and is really talented, so hopefully I wasn't concentrating too hard in the pics!! But last night we rode under the lights since it's miserably hot out and he was really full of himself. Very active movement considering it was 100°. Then this morning I decided to try and beat the heat and take him for a trot. Well it wasn't as hot, but the bugs were terrible. Luckily the back field was mowed, so it was better, but we both came home with welts on us from bites.

It's been tough... I'm not feeling that confident right now about him and I'm focusing only on all his issues. Every time we fight and it's a struggle to get him to respond to one of my aids, I feel like giving up. I'm just dreading the next show and don't know what to do about it. I think I need miles and training just to get confidence and I think a little bit I feel like I'm trying to move too quickly after the disasters. I'm hoping I'm just stressed out and annoyed at the hot weather and I will get re-motivated. We are going to go to Bucks this weekend and hopefully I'll have a strong ride to boost my confidence. Unfortunately I lost my riding partner since Seth tried to cut off his finger with a circular saw and had to have surgery. He won't be riding seriously for over a month, so Legacy and I will have some alone time any time we want to go off the property. So we are trying to get through this, but it's a lot tougher this time because I had higher hopes and more plans for us this year. Things went so smooth last year I didn't put limitations on our success. Now that I'm faced with a potential limit, I'm struggling to accept it and decide what to do about it. Plus I jump ten steps ahead instead of dealing with the immediate problem. I pretend to be a pessimist so I never have to be disappointed, but with this I was hopeful and I'm getting burned. So now I'm compensating by being over-pessimistic and incredibly negative about everything, but it's killing my motivation and confidence. More updates to come...blogging sure is therapeutic :).

~Kelly